"I Also Want More Atrocities and Stiffer Hats."

Well, I knocked off The Pirates! In an Adventure with Communists by Gideon Defoe. It's funny -- perhaps made slightly more so by my marriage to a philosopher.

The Fable of the Pig and The Rooster
from The Wit & Wisdom of the Pirate Captain -- a Major Philosophical Work

In the olden days there was a pig and a rooster, but the rooster was quite arrogant. It was this that led to his inevitable downfall.